Adulting for Beginners

The Process of Unlearning Everything

So, I am twenty-one years old. Half of the readers are thinking, "Oh what I wouldn't give to be that age again!" and the other half is just jealous that I'm old enough to drink alcohol. But before your jealousy prevents you from listening to my side of the story just give it a shot.


We graduate from high school and are just excited to be rid of those brick walls that held us captive and the neverending standardized tests we prepared every year for. Freedom!... Well not exactly. You could either satisfy your need for an escape and work a minimum wage job or you could go back to an institution and go through more schooling to hopefully get a better job that supports the cost of living. This time it will be better than grade school because you've got skin in the game -because your paying for your classes and the subjects (hopefully) are going to pertain to something you are actually interested in. Well not quite... You must first get your Associates degree in arts which is about two years of general education you should have acquired in high school.


But hey! It will be worth it because you don't wanna flip burgers and wait tables for the rest of your life. (You've seen what it does to your thirty-eight-year-old coworkers and even though they are pretty established and make decent money you see them break everytime they start a shift- Becoming actors at a table but the spirit vacating their eyes the second they leave.)


So here we are- free of burger grease and surrounded by other students that were told they should be here too. Some go off to a university, but not you because you are financially brilliant and would rather spend about $1K a semester instead of $52K for general education (plus you wanna mooch off your parents a little longer). But now that you are past the high school days life is requiring more of you outside of your studies. No more allowance means you must find means of cash access, so you do end up getting a job flipping burgers or waiting tables- but it's different because it's only temporary. While on the job you become close to well-seasoned (older) coworkers that stress about trivial matters such as their dog chewing up their favorite scarf or Trish-their least favorite coworker- spreading rumors about them. You roll your eyes and go back to serving your tables. Some of the customers you serve are the wealthy, well-respected, college educated people that you strive to be like. However, these people get upset when there are more than three ice cubes in their drink, throw a fit when the chips have too much salt, and darn near flip the table when you forgot to take the cilantro out of their burrito. Going through this day to day, you work hard at your studies because there is no way you are staying here for the rest of your life. Your cheese starts sliding off your cracker and you start to think you are going insane- but no, welcome to adulthood.

Subconsciously you start to fret because even the well-established patron lost his marbles over the most insignificant things. Showing, in your opinion, that neither their degree, job, or money brought them happiness. You start to panic because it's too late now- you've joined the rat race. You continue each day juggling your studies, job (that's not your real job), and pleasing your parents. On top of this, you have to pick a major that will either be tolerable and make you lots of money or something you are truly passionate about that your parents insist isn't logical to live off of. You start trying to distance yourself from your parents- weening yourself of the teet as they always said you should. But as you start declaring independence your parents lecture you about every single thing you do wrong. They want whats best for you so you let it slide because their intentions are good but inside your emotions are running as rampant as your future.

After your two-year sentence degree is done with it's off to the university for a bachelors degree. Now, you feel ready... Finally the good stuff! You feel confident too because you've saved up some money, now own a Camry with low monthly payments, and pay your own phone bill. You think this is what adulting feels like. However, once you get into your groove life has a funny way of pulling the carpet out from underneath you. You try to adjust to university life but it feels familiar, like you are going back to high school. You're surrounded by insecure judgemental glares, cliques, and petty drama. You sleep in a twin bed again. You realize your job that makes you enough to pay your bills must be replaced by an unpaid internship. Student loans and credit cards it is then. Suddenly you realize you have to sell your car and you feel all your freedom being stripped from you.

You reach out to your parents and all they have to offer are banal platitudes and cliche sayings from long ago. You tell yourself you will adjust and you will make enough money to pay back those loans when you finally escape, but you start to wonder if this is what the rest of your life will be like.

We all assume growth is exponential and steadily increases with time. Similar to stairs-  as we age we go up a level, but life is not this way. Becoming older and wiser is realizing that our growth is more like a heartline. We will get new freedom but sometimes we have to sacrifice this freedom in the short-term for the long-term goal. We can't always control the circumstances but we can control our perspective of the situation. We have to stop dreaming about the destination and learn to appreciate the moments that lead to achievement. We have to enjoy life through the struggle. This is what becoming an adult truly is.

No wonder 21 is the legal drinking age... Cheers!